It’s been a really long time since I’ve updated and I really wanted to update but I just didn’t know what to talk about so I decided just to start typing and see what happens.

The other day I got into the fall mood I love fall soo much! I was telling Corey everything I loved about it, “i love the trees, the colors, the cold, the smells, the warmth in your house (or a nice electric blanket), good food, family…”  as soon as i said family tears just started running down my face I didnt even have time to hold them back. It’s been three years and it still really hurts. It still affects me family is a touchy subject to me. I miss them so much, I feel like I had a close family, we spent time together we laughed and had so much fun, and I’ve probably seen them maybe 5 days in the last two years even three, cause I worked for them but I didnt really spend time with them. This time of year is my favorite but theres always some point during this time when I get really upset and I feel so left out. I know my family would love to have my around but honestly I dont know what’s worse not seeing them or seeing them be a family with the people who seem to have taken my life.  I felt like I needed to get that out. Anyways on a happy note I saw my Papa for the first time since last Christmas and it made me soo happy. I hugged him and then I smelt like him for the rest of the day you really dont know how much something means to you until it’s gone.

Dont get me wrong I love Corey’s family every person in that family is amazing. I am so blessed to be apart of their family. I feel like I’ve been a part of it for over 6 years now it’s a good feeling to know that I really am. I used to think my family was a great family and nothing could break us apart….obviously that’s not true, but I honestly believe it’s true for Corey’s family, and that is a true blessing from God for me.

Our next lesson in Sunday School is about family (ironic) and the last lesson of the topic has a question “does the decisions you make affect your family?” Obviously in my situation selfishness from the people in my family have really really really affected me, it’s not even fair what me and the rest of my family have been through because one person was selfish. I love my dad everybody does stuff they aren’t proud of…or their family is proud of. You should really pay attention to the decisions you make but they can affect somebody in a good or bad way, so every decision you make please think through it. Maybe it’s not the decision you make, it’s the way you make it and when you make it. Thinks could have been soo much different if things were done in diffferent orders. If you dont know what I’m talking about that probably doesnt make sense but that’s ok not everybody needs to know all the stupid details about my life.

So dont forget to be thankful for the family you do have, even if they are crazy or drive you crazy, one day you might wake up and your life could be turned upside down.

That’s all I have to say.
oh yeah one more thing…

IN A WEEK FROM TODAY I WILL BE 21!! I’m a a little excited.

ps btw any family member that reads this, I love yall! I really do miss you, maybe one day I’ll grow up and not have such a hard time…